Hazel’s World

As rain drops from the clouds
You have fallen from my grace

As stars plummet from the sky
You have fallen from my grace

As fruits break off from its branches
You have fallen from my grace

As autumn leaves wither from trees
You have fallen from my grace

As buildings collapse from the earth’s trembles
You have fallen from my grace

As planes plunge into the sea
You have fallen from my grace

As weeds tumble over an arid dessert
You have fallen from my grace

As ships sink to the bottom of the ocean
You have fallen from my grace

Anger festers in my heart
yet He wants me to let go

Hatred is nearly over the brim
yet He wants me to love

Revenge is in my thoughts
yet He wants me to forgive

May He have mercy upon you
May He spare you the agony
May He provide you with compassion
May He demonstrate understanding
All that you have forsaken to me

unlock your heart
release your mind
rise from the fiend you have become
a word of caution
before its too late

I recall a few days ago, I was accompanying a good buddy to shop for a pair of flip flops to use at our beach party (whatever). My buddy is interested in buying "Hawaianas" or "Havanas" slippers due to budget constraints (Gag). Being the angel (or devil) of mercy, I spared my buddy the humiliation of wearing a copycat. Which from the famous phrase, is really second rate! Don’t get me wrong. I for one, ain’t interested to buy a pair of those Posh Spartan slippers for all I care. I’d rather buy quality material like Merrell(-which I have) It’s just that, well, If you’re gonna buy slip-ons, better buy a generic one or if you’re really ambitious, buy the original Havaianas. Buying the original kind is always better than buying a cheap imitation. I told my buddy, "it’s all about the (Brazilian) flag." (Yeah, that’s what most of you are paying for).

Never forsake class. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a drop dead bombshell. Class can never be bought. It is earned by our choices. (or most of the time, by birthright-which unfortunately, most of us dont have the luxury of).

Some people may have a few quirks and weirdness under their sleeves, not to mention personal issues. But at the end of the day, it is still how you carry yourself that matters.

don’t mind being cheesy with the right person…
love listening to alternative music (Cello rock! check out Apocalyptica plays Metallica)…
argue with God.. A lot! on things I don’t quite understand.
love Him nonetheless…
think aloud (aka. talk to myself out loud when stressed)…
enjoy playing PC Games…
experiment with flavor (Korean, Chinese, Mediterranean)…
love watching horror films
have great fear of the dark, ironically…
still read Archie comic books…
can’t entirely hate an enemy…
can’t easily forgive a friend…
value loyalty above all others…(some find it such a high price to pay)

After a loooong relaxing vacation, its back to earth on Monday… Oh why can’t everyday be Easter?!

People in droves are packed in the arrival lounges of airports, seaports and bus terminals who can’t anxiously wait to get home. take a bath, upload pictures from their digicams, call friends, order take outs, and just enjoy time with their family. I missed being on this side of the pack.

As I tinkle on my keyboard. I’m half awake and expecting to have a semi-traffic jam on a Monday morn, if I’m lucky not be caught in a vehicular accident along the way, between a bus with employees raring to go to work and a sleepy truck driver on its way to the casa.

Moments like these sometimes would make me want to crawl back to my bed and extend my leave. Not to mention clients which are more than eager to piss you off to press for unmet deadlines. If only I can turn off my company paid cellphone and just… pretend that I’m sick. I feel so sick I think I’m gonna throw up. I guess my illness is psychosomatic. I’m at my wit’s end here. I feel like a soldier in battle, caught in a crossfire and feeling too scared to go out of my foxhole only to find out that I pissed on it.

I want to let go… I want to let it alll gohhhh… If only it was that easy. Bills to pay, dreams to make, imperfections to… welll… be perfected…. (sigh)

The clock continous to tick… if only I could stop time. Stop the inevitable.

That tomorrow will be another day in boot camp.

Who do you think you are?
you think your smile is as sweet as an angel singing in spring.
you seem to make everyone feel safe, secure and happy when they are around you
as if everyone basks in the glory of your company till they get addicted
you can be very enticing
like a moth to a flame
they do not know doom
for they have not seen the real you
and this is the part you’d like to play.
but I know better
For beneath the mask hides a hideous face.

Who do you think you are?
you push everyone around
just because you have the love of the people you hardly appreciate.
you try to bend someone’s will into your own.
and destroy them if they remain firm.
and crush their hearts whilst longing to love you.
to leave them jaded till you decide to play them around once again.

Who do you think you are?
I used to be happy when I’m with you
But now I only hear Pharaoh music
coupled with the sound of a slash of a whip.
The silence between us is deafening.
Can you not hear it?
Hear the hollow emptiness of your heart?
Can you not see it?
The wall which seemed to loom and stretch out between us?
you are to blame
for I have often tried to reach out to you
but you closed your gates of wisdom
and hear no one but yourself

Who do you think you are?
Hush, you wild untameable beast!
You are punishing no one but yourself
Not everybody is out to hurt you
you need only look at your side.

I was there…waiting…
waiting to be understood
by a Ceasar I called my friend
But a friend I knew no longer.

There’s something about this day that’s different from the rest. I dont know why I can’t stop hoping. Hoping to get answers from my gazillion questions about my life and it’s direction-or lact thereof. Where is my unending optimism coming from? Regardless of bad falls, rising up, moving on, going back to the same pit over and over and over and over… Seemed endless. But I always manage to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Only to find myself lost on a new tunnel where I manage to grope my way around… looking for that light to excape to.

Sometimes people just dont get what they want and there’s hardly a reason. We need to recover and survive another day, only to be slapped in the face of a new challenge that seemed insurmountable. Hurdle after hurdle we struggle. And for what? For who? Not even for ourselves I say! Because we tell ourselves "Oh no.. Not this…" If we had a choice, we’d be in a different place… Or mess for that matter.

Most of the time, I dont even want to ask because deep inside, I mean, why even bother? Don’t you ever get tired of asking, and asking, and asking… Only to get the answer a few years later? I know I don’t have the right to question the path. Nobody has. Least we could all do is enjoy the journey. Love doesn’t make the world go round. It makes the ride worthwhile. Dang! if only the ride had a seatbelt.(- if there was ever ‘the ride’ in the first place.)

Funny, maybe that is the reason why I dont like roller coasters. I used to like riding on it. Hmmmm. I wonder what happened?….

His kiss I felt was hot yet cold
I begged for him, on me to hold
his eyes, his lips I can’t define
How can I own what is not mine

His face I see but vaguely still
Beneath the mist I can almost feel
his body on mine, so gentle yet so strong
it must be right, yet this is wrong

The hunger he feels to take what is due
I finally saw it on a different view
I let him in, though I know it’s a sin
to quench this thirst that I have from within

My breath he took while I was torn
my wrists he locked on his hands alone
I could not move, I could not speak
his power on me has made me weak

As I held him tight while he consumes me more
our world rocks forth in rhythmic lore
his figure I savor, his spirit I embrace
I was carried off to a different place

And when our rendezvous was over and done
my midnight companion, alas! He was gone.
never to be seen as I was cursed by the night
My dream has ended at the first ray of light.

~summersky~

The Seasons

life started sometime in spring
to which i unfold the happiness you bring
for this is the season where the trees shall bloom
it is colorful enough to ease this gloom

i spent some time under a tree
hearing the birds sing i am pleased
for this beginning i have fallen in-love
about your sweet talks that i cannot dub

then heat was felt when summer arrived
to the depth of the water i chose to dive
and for some reason its sadness that i’ve felt
feeling that somewhat i have lost myself

for this is not my idea of a vacation
that i can no longer express my appreciation
because from then on you’re out of sight
as it was a hard thing to feel alright

and as the leaves come down and fall
it is the season i never want to recall
for it is the time that a life was lost
such loss i hate without a cause

and from this view my eyes shut dead
seeing nothing but you instead
but still for myself i’ll keep my hope
that for any tragedies i could cope

and as the snow of winter began to bore
these feet of mine in the frozen shore
i was thinking as you were around
with an unspoken "hi" its love that i’ve found

this is the season where the days stood colder
making me lonely cause the nights were longer
and at those nights i have none further ado
but to keep up the hope that it will be me & you

~to summersky from silver-eyes~

(with its initial and final revision)